


everything and run

by treescape



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, Temporary misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treescape/pseuds/treescape
Summary: “Qui-Gon Jinn,” he said, face flushed and voice filled with an indignation that drew Qui-Gon up short, “you don’t get to offer me everything I’ve ever wanted and then run away before I can even answer.”Or, Qui-Gon thinks Obi-Wan doesn’t want him and Obi-Wan quickly disabuses him ofthatnotion.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 28
Kudos: 160





	everything and run

In the end, Qui-Gon told himself rather more prosaically than he had thought himself capable of, he had handled Obi-Wan’s rejection with aplomb. He had bowed his head quietly in acceptance, apologized for the misunderstanding, and serenely walked from the room.

Truly, he had been the image of decorum.

Now, as he catalogued the lines of his face and the greyness of his hair in the privacy of his own quarters, standing before the small, square mirror in the refresher, he was simply the image of tiredness and defeat. It had been a long time since he had last misread Obi-Wan so badly, but deep down, he should have known it would be thus. There was nothing for Obi-Wan in the furrows that marked Qui-Gon’s brow, or the spiderweb of creases the bracketed his eyes, or the wounds and the failures that lay on his soul.

He should never have asked.

“It is impossible for a deed to be undone,” Qui-Gon said into the mirror. He forced his face into a semblance of smoothness. “There is no going back, which means you must go forward.”

Some things must simply be accepted and then endured.

The important thing, he reminded himself as he straightened his body from the slump it had assumed, was that their friendship would remain intact; Qui-Gon was certain of it. It had been forged over the winding expanse of years, decades full of both hardships and joys. Theirs was not a bond that could be broken by something so simple as a declaration of unrequited love.

Qui-Gon could bring himself to live on whatever level of companionship Obi-Wan would allow. Friendship would be enough.

It was as he was was making his way slowly into the kitchen that the door to his quarters flew open, completely without warning—or at least, without a warning that Qui-Gon had consciously registered. It was a measure of how distracted he felt that _anyone_ could be so close as to enter without being sensed.

Especially Obi-Wan, to whose presence Qui-Gon was so entirely attuned.

But there Obi-Wan stood, framed for a moment by the stark doorway until he moved fully inside and closed the door. With his hair curling partway to his shoulders and his so familiar face and his golden presence in the Force, Obi-Wan was heartbreakingly beautiful in a way that lanced to the centre of Qui-Gon’s being.

It was perhaps, Qui-Gon thought, too soon for him to easily face Obi-Wan; hardly twenty minutes had passed since he had retreated to proverbially lick his wounds in the silence of his own quarters. He tried to assure himself that it was not a failing to feel a little raw. Acceptance and endurance did not automatically confer deliverance from regret.

And yet, it would be impossible to deny himself Obi-Wan’s presence, or to deny Obi-Wan whatever it was he had come to say. Qui-Gon opened his mouth to say something innocuous, or perhaps to apologize again, anything to open the path to conversation, but Obi-Wan was quicker.

“Qui-Gon Jinn,” he said, face flushed and voice filled with an indignation that drew Qui-Gon up short, “you don’t get to offer me everything I’ve ever wanted and then run away before I can even answer.”

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon began, in the instant before the other man’s words had fully registered, and then he stumbled to a stop, eyebrows drawn together in consternation, because that _certainly _wasn’t what had just happened. Qui-Gon had asked, after months of weighing benefits and risks and finally deciding to just trust in his feelings, whether Obi-Wan might ever come to see him as more than a Master and a friend. Obi-Wan had stared at him in stunned surprise, unsure how to voice his rejection.__

__And Qui-Gon had spared him of needing to make that choice._ _

__“I hardly believe that is what just transpired,” he said, his voice carefully modulated to hide his confusion._ _

__Obi-Wan shoved his arms into the folds of his own robes as if not entirely sure what else to do with them. “Oh?” he asked, and the stubborn tone of his voice was so _Obi-Wan_ that it almost hurt. “Out of nowhere you practically told me that you’ve been in love with me for years. And then about five seconds later, while I was still trying to even _process_ that possibility, you suddenly apologized and disappeared. What else am I to think?” The expression on his face was enough to match the stubbornness in his voice._ _

__Qui-Gon blinked, stunned, because he absolutely had not…_ _

__He replayed the scene again in his head, and then replayed it once more, carefully scrutinizing it from all angles of his memory._ _

__Well, possibly he had, at that._ _

__A shrewd and careful look had come into Obi-Wan’s eyes. “It is often ill-advised to assume you know too much, Master. You took great pains to teach me that, long ago.”_ _

__“Then perhaps you might allow me to try again,” Qui-Gon said. His mouth was dry, but somehow he managed to get the words out._ _

__“Let me make it a little easier on you,” Obi-Wan said with a smile. “I’m going to say yes.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: From [THIS](https://writing-challenges-and-prompts.tumblr.com/post/183905453048/writing-challenge-latin-phrases) prompt/challenge post: “ _Factum fieri infectum non potest._ (It is impossible for a deed to be undone)”. I couldn’t get the image of Qui-Gon being nobly—and needlessly—tragic out of my head.
> 
> I’m treescape on tumblr; if you feel like throwing a prompt at me, swing by my [askbox](https://treescape.tumblr.com/ask).


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